Reaching Out to "Mentors" in the UX Research Community
TL;DR
Mentorship can result from informal, ad hoc conversations with many industry professionals over time. Mentorship does not require a long term relationship with a single person.
Before reaching out, do your homework on the topic first. Likely, many answers are out there already. Doing this may help you sharpen your request.
Be intentional about whom you reach out to. Make your request short, specific, and direct. If your problem is complicated or vague, then consider reaching out to a career coach or advisor.
Accept that recipients may not respond or may reject your request. Being h ignored or rejected says nothing about you - or them. Don't let the idea of rejection deter you from asking for what you want.
Looking In from the Outside
In the last month, I talked with 40+ current and future UX researchers about what they want from their careers - and what's getting in their way. It was surprising to learn how opaque the UXR community is to those looking in from the outside. By being in this industry for over ten years, I had forgotten what it was like to break in.
Reframing Mentorship from Being Formal to Informal
It's undoubtedly important to find mentors throughout our careers. Simply put, mentors help point us in the right direction, provide moral support, and accelerate our learning (Rosala & Krause, 2020). With this said, having formal, dedicated mentor relationships is not necessary to experience the benefits of mentorship. For those of you who are lacking formal mentors in the UXR community, I challenge you to reframe the idea of mentorship from being formal to informal.
Consider the idea that mentorship happens all the time and is mostly informal, ad hoc, and invisible to others (Dodge, 2015). This idea suggests to me that "mentorship" could be the collective sharing of advice and knowledge that occurs within a community. For one person, these include all of the side conversations, coffee chats, emails, phone/Zoom calls that help move you forward. Through these interactions, you are tapping into several mentors. You may learn more from 10 conversations with 10 UXR professionals than from 10 conversations with one formal mentor.
To learn from a community, you need to build and cultivate relationships over time. Think of it as planting seeds. Many of those seeds (i.e., relationships) may blossom into something much bigger: a future co-worker, friend, manager, or mentor. Hey, you might even be able to help them out in the future.
Reaching Out to Mentors for Help
On more than one occasion, I've advised future UX researchers to reach out to professionals in our community: other researchers, hiring managers, and people who inspire them. Admittedly, I recommended this as if it was obvious how to interact with someone who has something that you want (e.g., knowledge, skills, or a job). What I failed to share is how to reach out to people who don't know you.
In the following sections, I'm offering ideas and examples for how to reach out to people who you would like to learn from. By taking inspiration from conversations with colleagues and Google search results, I've compiled a list of principles and examples for sending messages to people who don't know you. These are not perfect or exhaustive. I'll update these over time.
Principles for Crafting a Message
The following principles do not guarantee a response. Instead, they may increase the likelihood of a response by doing the following:
Be intentional
Be specific and direct
Consider your value proposition
Be Intentional
Identify your challenge: First and foremost, identify what challenge(s) you are experiencing. Determine where you feel stuck.
Do your homework: Do your homework by researching that topic ahead of time. Many answers to your questions already exist in articles, posts, and recorded talks on platforms like LinkedIn, Twitter, and Medium; from organizations like Neilsen Norman Group, UX Booth, UXR Collective (previous talks from UXConf), UX Collective, People Nerds; and within professional communities like Mixed Methods, Ethnography Hangout, Design & User Research, and ResearchOps. When I was a UX Researcher at Facebook, the rule of thumb was: spend 15 minutes looking for your answer before asking for help. For you, it will take more than 15 minutes, but you get the point.
Find the right people: After you have spent time looking for answers, determine where you experience a gap in knowledge. Identify the people who may have the expertise or recent experience with this gap. It's important to carefully match your needs with what others can realistically offer to you. For example, if you are interested in transitioning into the UXR field from your academic program, then other researchers who transitioned recently from similar programs may be your best resources. While it may be tempting for you to reach out to the most senior person, they may not be an expert in the problem you're experiencing.
Be Specific and Direct
Articulate your challenge: In your message, articulate what problem the recipient can help you with. For example, asking for advice on "how to position your academic research in your portfolio" is more specific than "how to get a UXR job in industry."
Here are some topics that are not (yet) specific enough: comprehensive feedback on a resume/portfolio, how to get a job as a UX researcher, and how to be an impactful researcher in your company, and "picking their brain" on any general topic. These are HUGE topics and can be overwhelming. Instead, make your request bite-sized. Focus on what you need to know right now to move forward.
Start with your request: Put your request at the top of the message. You may be tempted to tell stories upfront - stories about your struggles, your background, or how awesome you think they are. Your stories distract from what you want. Instead, be direct.
Describe why you're reaching out: Describe what you have in common, how you found the person, or why they are the right person to answer your question. Help your recipient connect the dots. Otherwise, your message may seem random or generic. For example, share that you've met before, what topic you saw them present on, or how one of their articles impacted you.
PSA: If you have a request that is long, complicated, and/or vague, then consider seeking help from a career consultant, coach, or advisor. They enjoy helping you tame that complexity.
Consider your Value Proposition
Everyone is motivated by something different. Some people value giving back in 1:1 conversations. Other people prefer giving back to many people at once by writing articles or giving talks. Some people value being paid for their time and consequently have a consulting, coaching, or advising side hustle. You may not know what your recipient values, but be aware that it may impact their response.
Amplify the impact of their time: What may be appealing to a recipient is to know that their advice is benefiting more than just you. For example, offer to amplify the recipients' knowledge by sharing it with others who would also benefit from hearing it (and always ask for permission to do so). Share what you collectively learned from community mentors in an article, social media post, blog entry, or video.
The advantages of sharing go beyond benefitting others; it also can help you. Being more active on social platforms means that you're increasing your visibility as a contributor within the UX community. Practice standing in your spotlight. When other people see you doing this, it may also permit them to stand in theirs. You never know who may notice what you have to say. 👀
Accept Non-Response or Rejection
Unfortunately, not everyone has the time or desire to talk to you. People who are farther along in their careers may be juggling more responsibility and requests for their time than someone earlier in their career. On top of this, we all have our own lives: jobs to do, families to care for, groceries to buy, psychologists to talk with, and Netflix shows to binge. Like dating, there is no guarantee that someone will be receptive to your request.
If the recipient ignores or rejects your request, it's not about you. It's about them. It doesn't say anything about you as a person - it also doesn't say anything about them. While there are a million reasons why you didn't receive the response you wanted, please avoid the tendency to make one up. This reason does not serve you or your goals.
Despite the risk of rejection, you should still ask for what you want. Avoiding rejection means that you may miss an opportunity for a new job, client, or mentor (Jackson-Wright, 2020). Choosing to be courageous may result in more money, relationships, and learning. Yes, please.
Example Messages
Example 1: Student to UX Researcher
Hi Kelley,
I am a Ph.D. student and want to transition into a UX research career. I noticed on LinkedIn that you made the leap from your Ph.D. program directly to Facebook. I'm concerned that my research has little relevance to product. I'm curious how you talked about your academic research in a way that was approachable and relevant to your interviewers at Facebook. Would you be willing to share your experience? I am open to however you want to communicate. If right now is not a good time, then I completely understand.
I know that many other Ph.D. students feel similarly stuck. I plan to share what I've learned from you and others in a blog post. Paying your generosity forward is the least I can do.
Thank you for your time and expertise!
Paul
Example 2: Aspiring Writer to Thought Leader
Hi Jasmine,
I am looking for ways to share my experience with others in the UX research community. I'm a big fan of your New Layer Podcast and your writing on Medium. Your article "How to write? Just write." encouraged me to get the ideas out of my head. I'm curious how you decide on which topics you write, speak, and podcast about. There's so much content out there, and I'm struggling to identify how I can offer a unique perspective. Would you be willing to share your experience? I am open to however you want to communicate. If right now is not a good time, then I completely understand.
I know that other people feel similarly stuck. I plan to share what I've learned from you and others in a LinkedIn post. Paying your generosity forward is the least I can do.
Thank you for your time and expertise!
Paul
Example 3: UX Researcher to UXR Director
Hi Brennan,
I'm a UX researcher at [startup]. I'm motivated to sharpen my skills and grow in my career. I am the only researcher at my company, and I feel like I lack clear career direction. I noticed on LinkedIn that you had managed UX researchers at companies with established research teams. I'm curious about how you think about the core skills of a UX researcher (e.g., mental model). Would you be willing to share your thoughts - or even any resources? I am open to however you want to communicate. If right now is not a good time, then I completely understand.
I'm connected with other UX researchers who feel similarly stuck. I plan to synthesize what I've learned from you and share it with my community. Paying your generosity forward is the least I can do.
Thank you for your time and expertise!
Paul
Acknowledgments
Hey, Kelley Robinson, Jasmine Friedl, Tanner Christensen, DJ Heo, and Shayla Williams Fender - THANK YOU for helping me articulate these principles and examples by sharing your perspectives and providing feedback. ❤️
Resources
Chopra, V., Dimick, J.B., and Saint, S. (2020). Making Mentorship a Team Effort. Harvard Business Review
Christensen, T., and Friedl, J. (2019). Mentorship. New Layer Podcast
Dodge. K.E. (2015). Community Mentoring: A Tool for Successful Communities. Journal of Extension.
Horoszowski, M. (2020). How to Build a Great Relationship with a Mentor. Harvard Business Review
Jackson-Wright, Q. (2020). The Fear of Rejection is Costing You Money. New York Times
Rosala, M. and Krause, R. (2020) User Experience Careers (2nd ed. report). Nielsen Norman Group.
